we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
