You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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