Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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