Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
