Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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