now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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