Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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