Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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