some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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