Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
