clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize