I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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