He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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