Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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