EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
