nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize