Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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