So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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