No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need a hobby that isn't dick related