quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.