Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.