We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA