Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.