Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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