I wannas sexs uuuuu
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
