ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize