But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots