we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
