Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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