margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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