We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.