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just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
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