We're like a lot better than the average bears
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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