so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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