Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
