he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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