he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
