allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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