bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize