she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
