i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize