Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
