Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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