I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
