The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I will die if light touches me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize