the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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