Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
