youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
