woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.