too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"