hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void