I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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