Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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