Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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