WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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