Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
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So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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