Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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