3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
